Overcoming Fear of Rejection, Part 1

No one likes to be rejected in any of life’s situations. Rejection is an emotional experience, and we go to great lengths to protect our fragile egos. However, in our business, where we must continuously ask people to meet with us, rejection comes with the territory. As we seek out customers and clients, rejection will always be part of the process. You can’t succeed without failing.

Fear of rejection is a manifestation of our insecurity. Most of us are insecure about something. We all have issues, whether it is about our appearance, how much money we may earn, or just an overall lack of faith in ourselves to accomplish our goals.

There is a measure of detachment that we must adopt if we are to overcome any inherent insecurity within ourselves. There is a simple truth which we must accept, and it is:

“It’s not about you, so get over yourself.”

A point that too many people in business fail to understand is that the world is a surprisingly impersonal place. The laws of nature play no favorites. There is no such thing as a “born loser” or a “born winner.”

That said, let’s address fear in general. Let’s get it out in the open. What frightens you? So many people are afraid of so many different things. The fear of prospecting evokes thoughts such as:

• “I am imposing on people.”
• “No one wants to buy from me.”
• “What if I say something wrong?”
• “What if they say no? Will they not like me? I can’t risk the rejection!”
• “I am sure they already have all they need.”

Fear is normal. It is said that the two greatest fears are death and giving a speech—and more people are afraid of giving a speech than they are of dying! Death is inevitable—a speech is optional.

Death is inevitable—a speech is optional.

A key question to explore: What system or structure can we put into place that can help us get over the fear? Until we tackle this issue, all the techniques you learn won’t mean a thing because you will be too afraid to apply them. Look at it this way:

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Let’s consider some answers.

• If I telephone a person and request an appointment, what’s the worst that could happen?
• If I approach an individual at a social gathering, and gently start up a conversation, what’s the worst that could happen?
• If I send a letter and then follow up with a phone call, what’s the worst that could happen?

These are NOT near-death experiences! Believe it or not, you will live to see another day. So give today your best shot, and you will feel better about tomorrow.

I know I will! More on this topic next week. A hint: quite often, it IS personal…