Are You a Wall Flower? Four Tips to Overcome Networking Shyness

How many of us have attended networking meetings, or other types of social/business functions, only to be overcome with shyness—or what I call a “fear to mingle”?

I’ll confess…I have. Sometimes it’s the result of not being in a “social” mood—which can be caused by anything, if we let it. Other times it’s just seeing a large roomful of people, and suddenly feeling so fearful to mingle. And you can spot others who are trying to break through their own discomfort…often they are just pacing around the perimeter, or are sitting down doing nothing or trying to look busy. Sometimes they will latch on to one person who may have reached out to them (much to their dismay!), without engaging with anyone else.

Others are simply wall flowers. They stand there waiting for someone to approach them.

If you experience shyness and become a wall flower, here are some tips shared with me by Theresa Smith, an experienced sales professional and a master networker. The next time you attend a networking event of lots of prospective friends, acquaintances, and clients try focusing your thoughts and actions this way:

1. Ignore the fact that there are lots of people. “Sometimes people just get overwhelmed by the crowd. Don’t look at it that way, if that’s something that intimidates you. Often there are smaller groups. Look at the room that way.” Editor’s Comment: Sometimes I’ll get shy when there AREN’T as many people. Suddenly I’m afraid I’m standing out! Yikes! That’s when step four sounds pretty helpful.

2. Set a goal to have conversations with just five new people. “These are conversations that allow you to connect, learn a little about each other, and set the stage for a future meeting. You trade cards and let them know you will be calling.” Editor’s Comment: if you can set the appointment right there, I say do it! But don’t be pushy!

3. Don’t be a business card collector. “I know that lots of people do that, and actually can find some success in it. But it’s how you get the card, and the quality of the connection. If you walk out of a meeting with 25 business cards, will you really be able to call up each of those individuals and have any real rapport? It comes down to quality over quantity.”

4. Reconnect with current acquaintances. “I always want to touch base with people I already know, especially when I am at an event at which I know so many already! While most of us might be there to meet new people, we also want to stay in touch with those we know. Networking events and gatherings are a perfect opportunity to do both. Reconnecting with a few people first can be a great way to ‘warm yourself up,’ and even get an introduction to someone new.”

So, there you have it. Four easy tips to peel yourself off that wall and overcome networking shyness. Don’t worry. You are not alone. We all get shy sometimes. It’s an insecurity factor. But sometimes it is also believing in ourselves and what we offer the world. The more you become mission-driven to really help people, any shyness you experience will soon give way to passion. Most of all, in so many cases, it is your passion that will not just inspire you, but everyone with whom you come in contact.

Lastly, one small favor. If you feel the information you have received in this or any previous article of Market Leadership Journal is of value, then I invite you to share it on LinkedIn. Thank you!